dilemma

bleh. not caring makes everyone around me upset. i ignore the gift human connection. isn't that selfish? im most content alone. but im not sure if it's worth it. i have been making efforts to talk to new people. it's more than before, but still not much. i have met some people i feel good about. conversations that felt "genuine" to me. its nice. but after a while, the same worries i have about other conversations plague me. i feel unequipped to handle spending time with others, even on the rare occasions i enjoy it.